Our home birth.

This would be our last birth, our last baby, number 3 for the Callaghan clan.

Ever since completing my Doula course I knew I wanted a home birth surrounded by love and gentle energy. 

We found out I was pregnant and the next day had found a midwife, booked my doula and our home birth journey started. 

At 38 weeks I decided to have a mother’s blessing  to prepare for my birth and create a birth space to bring my 3rd child earthside in. 

Wednesday 10th June I dropped our two big boys to school. No idea that later that day may be the day. Hubby arrived home from work and we went and bought a basketball hoop for our boys. 

We had lunch and hubby went and got into bed leaving me to rest on the couch. 

After a funny movement from baby and a pop my waters broke. I have never experienced that before so was a little shocked. I went and had a shower and was a bit worried to see it was meconium stained. I got Geoff to call the midwife and my doula. I was scared and worried that my home birth dream may not even happen. I didn't get any contractions for at least an hour so by 1:30pm I was getting contractions and was in labour. 

Geoff filled the birth pool while my doula gave me a back massage with clary sage. This labour was so different to my last two so had no idea what was going to happen. 

My amazing midwife arrived and gave me the run down on what to with Mec  stained waters and we decided we were happy to stay home and keep to the plan. 

This labour was so hard, contractions were intense and I really didn't think I could do it. My midwife continued to check baby's heart rate thought my labour and baby was happy throughout. 

I decided it was time to get in the pool , and once I did things really took off. In the mean time my photographer arrived and started capturing our journey. 

The bath helped a little but it was so intense. I gave myself a check of my cervix and couldn't find it so thought it must be still high and closed. I got a little disheartened but kept positive. I checked again and it felt the same. Clearly I couldn't work it out as not long after I was having constant contractions and  was not far off pushing. At this point the fear took over and I was scared. I told  Geoff I was frightened and didn't think I could do it. But the next minute I was pushing. I didn't get an overwhelming urge to push I just tried to surrender and let my body do what it knew to do. As baby descended I experienced the full pain of the ring of fire as his head slowly came down with each push. Once his head was out it felt like at least 10minuted till his body came out but it was only a minute. I asked Geoff if he wanted to catch the baby but he couldn't do I reached down and bought baby up. 

I placed baby on my chest and felt so relieved o had baby close to my heart again. 

After about 5-10 minutes we decided to see if we had a boy or a girl. With a quick look we had another Son. We laughed and just opened our hearts to bring this new little soul into our lives. It was time to push for the placenta and it came out beautifully. Such a magnificent life support for my baby. I gave our Henry and his attached placenta to my husband who had his first cuddle as I got out of the pool. We then cut the cord and cuddled our baby boy together. 

Within half an hour my boys had arrived home with my mum and dad and hit to meet their new baby brother. They were super excited and thought he was the best. After meeting Henry they wanted to inspect the birth pool and then placenta. My amazing Doula Jacki explained the placenta to my two big boys while I was checked out for tearing. I only had a small tear which we decided to let heal itself. 

Henry had his first feed and latched beautiful, another breastfeeding journey had begun. 

After my shower my husband, myself and and our new little person all hopped into our beautiful comfy bed for our first night as a family of 5. We spent the next few days skin to skin in bed and in the comfort of my own home. 

This home birth has given my family so much, my little Henry got to arrive earthside into my arms safe with my husband, midwife, doula and photographer looking on. He is such a calm happy baby. Our very first home birth for our very last little baby. It was all I could imagine and more. 

To my husband who supported me through the every decision and held me through each contraction thank you. 

To my midwife and doula who sat quietly in the background but gave so much reassurance and love thank you. 

To my amazing photographer who captured every moment beautifully thank you. 

To all my family and friends who supported me thank you. 

And to all the amazing birthing women out there who have shared their stories thank you. 

Xx

*****All photos are property of Tanya Love photography. Visit her Facebook page to to see all her exquisite work 

https://www.facebook.com/TanyaLovePhotography ******

I am NOT a good mother.

Yup you read it right. 

I'm not, I pretend to be, I try hard but at the end of the day I am definitely a shit mother. 

It only takes a few words  from your kids to cement the fact you are screwing them up for life. 

Take yesterday as an example. 

Driving home from the beach we are explaining how most kids think their parents are the best at everything. We ask the boys what mummy is the best at. They take a while to answer, my eldest pipes up......

"Mummy is the best at yelling!" 

Floobuckle chimes in....

"Yeah she really does yell a lot so she is the best" 

Thanks kids,  not the best giver of cuddles, or fun, or cook, or story teller I am the best yeller! 

If that wasn't enough to make you think twice about the gig you actually thought you might be good at take the next answer as the the kick in the teeth. 

Daddy asks them 

"Well who is the best at taking care of you, making sure you're safe and fed and loved? "

Thanks babe for trying ever so hard to make this shitty situation better. 

Floobuckle proudly announces 

"Nana, nana is the very best at looking after us"

There you have it I not only yell all the time which makes me the best, I am classified as the worst person to look after my kids. 

So it made me realise that when you're really struggling, like I am right now and people try to make you feel better by saying chin up (urgh that is the absolutely worst saying) or well you're a wonderful, I am really not. 

I can't keep my house clean, am a terrible cook, my kids watch movies at night time, I am the very worst at looking after them. 

So when someone is struggling don't them they are doing good job at being a mum, they are probably just going through the motions  to get through the day. 

Wonder if this baby baking inside me also think Nan's is better at looking after them than me? 

Safe to say I'm heartbroken that that's what they think of me. 

The Genie!

This morning my black milk clothing order arrived. In it was my whole new world leggings and sleeping beauty ones from the Disney release. I was so excited for the Aladdin ones as its one of my favourites. Its always been a favourite due to The genie aka Robin Williams.  I put them on without a second thought. Unbeknown to me it would mean so much more than a new pair of leggings. 

To hear of the passing of Robin Williams was a shock. This man was an amazing talent who I looked up to so much. He inspired me in so many ways when all I wanted was to be an actor. I watched his performances and got lost in the stories he created. I admired him for he courage in his long battle of depression. 

This battle became personal for me when I too was diagnosed as having depression. The hardest thing about living with an illness like this is that no one takes it seriously, people tell you to not get all depressed or just be happy. Having depression and living in the western world is seen as selfish, how can you be depressed when you have it so good, how can you feel so bad when you don't have anything to complain about? 

Thing is depression isn't about what you have or how much money you have as those things can't change your mental health, depression is that little person in her head telling you are not good enough, you are worthless, you don't deserve to be happy. Its a debilitating illness that can take over your life in one quick swoop. 

Robin Williams fought long and hard, he even went through alcohol and drug dependencies on his journey. I have seen so many people say, but he was so rich he could have paid anyone for help, why was someone who had everything be so sad, how can someone kill themselves when you have so much to love for, the answer is we don't know, we don't know why depression takes hold and changes the lives of people. 

If you need to all to someone contact Beyond Blue Or lifeline. Talk about how you feel, your feelings are valid and worthwhile. You are loved, you are worthy. 

I hope that the demons have left you now Robin and you are making everyone laugh wherever you are, because we miss you and your wonderful talent. xx

Peace Yoga Retreat May 2014.

A few weekends ago my husband and I were fortunate enough to spend the weekend on retreat with the wonderful Peace Yoga. This is the most soul nourishing, heart filling experience I have been on.

I try to practice yoga when I can as it makes Me feel better, helps me be a better mum and wife and gives my body and soul the love to deserves.

The weekend starts with a  magical welcoming ceremony and dinner, all vegetarian and all cooked with love by the hosts.

Mornings are always in silence till a certain time. As a parent mornings are such havoc, talking the mite you get out of bed, rushing around feeding everyone else before you are even ready to wake up. So to have silence from the moment you wake up is blissful.

Meditation walks, yoga, bush walks and did I mention the beautiful food. For an extra fee you can indulge in a massage, which who wouldn't want one. You meet all types of people, and learn so many new wonderful things.

The release ceremony is breathtaking, I won't share what we do its something you must experience for yourself.
Sunrise from the best of all lookout, after passing the Antarctic Beeches trees. Which gives you a glimpse at how important our Eco system and protection of our habitat is.

The accommodation is modest but perfect. The sounds of nature make it so peaceful and whimsical.

To top it all of you gate the most perfect weekend of soul nourishing yoga. Learning new breathing techniques, how to balance your life, how to love and give love and also how to keep yourself feeling great.

I have so much love and respect for this retreat and hope to be going every year!

My little floobuckle.

You can never imagine your child getting ill, or being seriously injured. But the reality is it happens. Some worse then others but the pain it causes emotionally for you is heartbreaking.

A year ago this week my little floobuckle was only 3 years old and woke up with a super high temp, and threw up. I knew something wasn't right, and since I was leaving that arvo for my very first yoga retreat I wanted him to see a dr.

I put the kids in the car and raced to our family doctor who is about 45mins away. He threw up twice more on the way. I knew in my gut something wasn't right. We saw the dr who informed us he was positive it was a virus and would be gone within a day. So with that information, I left him with his dad and headed off for my retreat. My emotional and mental health hadn't been very good for the past few years so this weekend was not only important to me but for my family and marriage. Getting myself better was important and leaving my son with my husband was perfectly fine as I knew he would look after him well.

Retreat was beautiful, I was feeling refreshed and ready to take on being a better mum and wife with each session. At night I would text hubby to see how floobuckle was and he said he was ok not better but ok. Little did I know he was worried about him and had called the home doctor out. This doctor assured my husband he was ok and just had a virus.

Sunday arrived and it was time to leave retreat. Was so refreshed and excited to be heading home to my family, with a new outlook and energy in my life. I walked in to see  my beautiful little floo lying on my husband, his little lips all blistered due to the high temps and he was so pale and skinny. So in 3 days he had really not gotten better at all. I was so heartbroken that I had gone to retreat and not been there for him and my husband, but I think going helped me to prepare for what was ahead.

His little body slept next to me that night and I could just feel something was wrong he was not breathing well and was so limp, he wouldn't walk and I had to put him in the ergo to drop my eldest at school.

That afternoon, I rang the health line and they said to see a doctor, but I knew I would be going to hospital straight away. So I packed him up and headed to the mater private. I was happy to part with some ridiculous amount of money for him to be seen and was lucky I did as the public was having a overflow of patients and he may not have been seen at all.

We saw a nurse, who said they would have to put a drip in in case he needed iv fluids, he didn't even flinch he was that exhausted and sick. We next had an X-ray. As I sat and waited to see what they thought it was I was beside myself with fear and worry. How could I have let my little boy get so sick, how can I make it better, why is he so ill.

The dr poked her head in and said in a very matter a fact way

"your son has pneumonia we will be admitting him"

And that was it, she never sat with me to explain anything or gently tell me my 3 year old actually had the worst case of pneumonia they had seen in a child. I was a mess, how could she be so cold to me, I know they must be busy but surely she could have given me 5 minutes to actually explain, and be polite enough to enter the room fully to tell me. this made me so worried.

I rang my husband in tears and explained our baby boy was so sick he would be staying in hospital.

He arrived a short time after to comfort me and help us over to the ward. We asked the lovely nurse if she could show us his X-ray and explain a little more what will be happening. His whole right top lung was covered in it no wonder his breathing was so short.

We arrived in the ward and were assigned our private room, unbeknown to us he was actually isolated as it was a respiratory illness.

This was the start of 10 days in hospital. He was given massive doses of penicillin and fluids, he had X-rays, ultrasounds and blood tests.

The night before my birthday we got the news that they thought he had Pleurisy, and that he may have to go under a general anaesthetic to drain it and maybe a central line to keep administering the antibiotics. We were so scared and worried for our little boy, he was so brave, enduring the wake ups and ultrasounds, and the blood tests and new ivs being put in.

That afternoon our wonderful paediatrician and surgeon told us they would not need to do the drain and we didn't have to put him under. Was the most wonderful news and the best birthday present ever!.

He slowly improved as the days went on but he still couldn't stop the fevers, which meant staying in longer. The physio was the worst when they would come and paddle his little back, he would sob and say it hurt so much. It was the hardest thing to watch.

We had so much support from my wonderful mum and dad, brother and his girlfriend, and my friends, everyone who visited, sent me messages and rang helped us through one the most difficult times. That meant the world to us, it was so lonely in that hospital, waiting everyday to see if he was getting better and going to be able to come home. And to have that support meant the world to us. I can only hope that no one I know has to go through something like this without support from their loved ones.

Eventually he went 24hours without a fever and we were allowed to go home, he had lost  nearly 5kgs and was so tiny. We came home and tried to go back to normal. He was still on penicillin until the next day when he came out in a massive rash, so we had to stop that and give him something different. So now he has a penicillin  allergy, which is nothing but still scary.

We have been very worried about the scarring from the pneumonia and he has had follow up X-rays, at the beginning of this year he had an X-ray to see the progress, and it has gone completely, there is no trace of any scarring or the pneumonia.

Since then I have had massive anxiety when it comes to sickness, if I hear of anyone who has been ill, even with just a tummy bug I freak out. I never want to have to go back into hospital again with my children cause the heartbreak and worry it causes is unimaginable. My heart breaks when I think of all the families who have to call the hospital home ,and my heart sings when I think of the wonderful nurses caring for these beautiful children and their families in their time of need.

So one year on and we are healthy, well we all have colds, but we are not ill and my floobuckle has started kindy and loving being a big kid, he often talks about hospital and how it was scary and it hurt, and I think it will stay with him for a while, it was scary and he was a different little boy when we left, but we have always tried to just be gentle with him and make sure he knows he is safe.

LOVE YOU LITTLE FLOOBUCKLE

Easter camping at Kennilworth Homestead.

This weekend we decided to go camping with the kids and puppy at Kenilworth homestead. our beautiful friends joined us too. 

We arrived on the thursday and set up camp for both families. The registration was super quick and easy. We chose a gorgeous spot on the Mary river and were lucky enough to have a nice family camping opposite. The kids all played well together while we unpacked. 

Friday morning my parents arrived for a visit as they are off to Paris for a adventure. The kids played by the river with their new friends. Our friends arrived after being stuck in the crazy easter traffic and settled in nicely. The first activity was the drum circle. Just the two big kids came with the mums to learn how to play drums.

After the drum circle we had a dinner and relaxed by the fire. 

Saturday morning was pretty chilly and the boys enjoyed it by the fire.

 We decide we would head into the Kenilworth Cheese and Wine festival with the kids and the dogs. Kenilworth is such a pretty town. the kids loved playing in the big beautiful park and we enjoyed looking at all the lovely stalls. 

the kids did a cheese rolling competition which was really cute!

Cheese rolling contest!

We headed home and the kids went down to the river to play. What a glorious thing seeing kids outside exploring, going on adventures and getting up to mischief. 

After spending some time by the river the kids got to paint their canvases I bought. The finished products are wonderful but forgot to take a picture. 

The scene. 

Myles painting the scenery. 

Mateo 

Mia and Flynn. 

After painting we went and did some of the free activities. First up pony rides, Mia just adored riding the pony. The boys loved it too. Then onto archery, was a bit hard for me so was even harder for the kids but they loved it. We checked out the little baby animals next. And then back down to the campsite for a yummy lamb stew and dumplings made by my baker man. 

Saturday night was a bush dance. We took the kids up for one song as they were all so tired, it was lots of fun and we managed to do one dance :) Once we got back they went to bed pretty quickly in preparation for the EASTER BUNNY to arrive!

Sunday morning arrived early! Myles was up before Flynn for once wanting to see what the EB had left. 

They each scored a bilby, humpty egg, book and little eggs. From us they received new winter pjs and some mind games. 

Myles eyeing off his huge egg before dawn!

Sunday we decided to take it easy, we started with an easter egg hunt with all the other kids, which was put  on by the homestead. We were a little late so our kids didnt get many. Was especially proud of Myles for sharing his eggs with Mateo as he didn't find many. 

We spent some time on the river bank with the dogs and exploring different areas. 

We decided to hire a canoe each and go for a ride down the river, the kids loved it. It was pretty exciting going over the rapids. 

Sunday afternoon the homestead held an easter carnival with rides, face painting, balloon twirling and entertainment. The kids loved every minute! 

We came back from the carnival a bit earlier and left the kids with the dads watching a circus performer so we could do the egg hun that the EB had left us to do as he didn't want to leave eggs out and animals eat them. 

Getting ready!

Hunt!!!!

what did you get?

EASTER EGGS!!!!!!!

That night we had a gorgeous dunner made by Mr C a chilli con carne! 

I went to be early as was absolutely exhausted from the last few days and knew monday would be busy taking everything down. 

Monday morning I actually slept in a little woohoo! I did force myself to though as I knew with back to school this week it would be a big one! So thanks baker man for kid wrangling so I could sleep in! 

Last day went so quickly, I took the kids and Rosie to the water to play while we waited for the tents to dry. 

While we packed up the kids rode their bikes or played on the rope swing!

The kids had the best time! 

I can not recommend Kenilworth homestead highly enough, yes there were cold showers, and line ups but that is all part of camping.

We drove away from our campsite, with new friends, who we hope to see next year, dirt on our feet, sun kissed cheeks and big happy smiles! 

Cant wait to come back! 

Kenilworth Homestead

Easter 2013! 

A day in the life of our mad house.

Something strange is happening in our society. 

We are seeing perfectly scripted lives through Facebook and instagram. 

People filter out the bad and only post the good, which we know isn't reality, but somehow it still makes us think we are doing something wrong or that we are bad parents. I wish people would be truthful on their Facebook page, share the bad with the good, don't make out that their kids are angels all the time.

I am hearing from friends that they are struggling with being a mum because we compare ourselves to these beautifully scripted Facebook lives. Its making me sad and angry that the people I love don't feel they are doing the best job they can because missy perfect has posted in 3 hours 5 posts of the craft they did or the sport their child has conquered or the cake they all baked as family without any fights or yelling or kids acting out. 

Its not real life. So this is what my day usually looks like! 

3am: woken with a kick to the head as my eldest son has crept into my bed, with a full wet nappy I might add. So I now have a sore head a room that smells like wee. 

3:30am: Second child arrives in the bed turning me into a pretzel, trying to contort myself so that either boys don't fall out and that they can have enough room and blanket. 

5am: Second son is up yelling "come wipe my bum" Yes he is 4 and he has always been able to clean himself but the last few weeks apparently he can not anymore so its now my job. Cue our puppy to start whimpering to be let out. 

6am: eldest son continues to sleep on top of me or with his legs intertwined into mine which is really very uncomfortable. All the while I have sent Mr Wipe my bum to play in his room…which usually turns into him sneaking into the lounge to play the Wii or iPad :/ We have a rule that we don't watch TV on school mornings. 

6:30am: Do I really have to get out of bed and start my day now, yes,  I have to as the kids are fighting and screaming and the dog is barking at everyone who walks past. So I roll out of bed and start the day, usually on the bad foot cause I am exhausted and would just like half an hour to myself. 

7am: Serving the kids breakfast, we always have yoghurt's first with their probiotic in it. My second son has always fed himself but like the wiping his own bum it seems to have lost this skill, so as I try to make the rest of the breakfast and my own and  he is crying that he doesn't want to eat it or feed it to me. So I spend the next 10 minutes spoon feeding him. 

7:15am ask the eldest child what he wants for breakfast, make it, he doesn't want it. So throw it out and ask him again what he wants. Says he doesn't know so I make myself something sit down finally and start eating….oh eldest son wants what I am having and wants it now, who would have thought, so I end up giving him my meal and just have my tea. Which goes cold :/

I am only at 8am and already I am exhausted just writing this. 

8am:Ask the kids to get dressed. Now this process usually last a minim of half an hour, it usually starts out quiet then by the end I am a screaming banshee trying to have a shower myself and get ready. 

School holidays are easier as we don't have to be in the car by 8:30am to get to school and kindy, but they still fight, they still pull toys out and leave them all over the floor, they still refuse to brush their teeth etc etc etc. 

8:30am ask the kids to get their stuff, so back packs, water bottles, homework, library books etc and get in the car. you would think this task would be fairly easy as their bags hang on a hook, their lunch boxes are packed and put on the table and their homework is usually in the same place too. But no somehow 1 out of 3 mornings someone forgets something.

8:45am hopefully we are on the road now as my eldest starts at 8:50, but usually we are not. i am usually going back inside and finding said thing that has been left behind.

9am: eldest child is at school, and we are on our way to drop the little one at kindy. This is the hardest part of my day. He is not coping very well and dosent like to go so he cries and holds me so tight. It really is breaking my heart. I walk out crying. I stop at the drive through coffee place which is now my morning saviour and get a HOT cup of coffee to drink!

9:15am - 2:30pm is apparently party time for me :P No just kidding, I usually come home do washing, ironing, try to clean the house, do grocery shopping, and occasionally I will visit a friend. On the days that the little one isn't at kindy I usually have to try to get him outside instead of playing computer games, he is a little tech head. But most days I have to do errands for the business we own and he doesn't like that one bit so it can be driving in the car with him being cranky, or going to the bank with him being cranky, unless I bring the iPad which i hate doing as I don't think he should be on it all the time.  Throw in lunchtimes which usually mean making him something he asks for then he eats 2 bites :/

2:30pm: we arrive at kindy to get the littlest, then we have to quickly drive to school to get the eldest, for some reason the little one doesn't like having to pick up the big one and sooks about it all the way to the school.

3pm: Yay schools out. We pile into the car and I try to ask about how school was but the only answers we get are who they played with at lunchtime :/ And then the eldest asks what are we doing now…this happens most mornings, or when we have just done something, he needs to know what other exciting things are coming and usually cries when I say we are going home.

3:30pm: I ask the eldest to please do his homework, I'm not a fan of homework and really don't mind him not doing it but I don't want him getting into trouble either, this is usually a fight he yells "why don't you let me do what I want" And then slams the door.

4pm: We start making dinner as my husband has to be in bed between 5pm-6pm. Deciding what to eat suavely revolves around the kids screaming and crying, "we don't want that", "why do you have to chose every night" "why can't we decide whats for dinner"

5pm: We all sit down for dinner, hubby scoffs his down as he has get to bed, and I sit pleading with the kids to eat their dinner, to try a little broccoli, or spoon feeding them mushed up veges like baby food. At this point I decide I am not doing the dishes they can wait till morning cause I am done, but we still have showers and bedtime yet, I have to find the spark deep in my gut to keep going.

5:30pm: Shower time, I usually turn the shower on to get the temp right then get the kids in, most days they are there ready to go but sometimes they take off and play or one has to do a poo or the eldest decides its the perfect time to do homework. So the shower goes off till they are ready and then we start all over again. I will brush their teeth when they get out and this is an epic battle too, especially with he little one.

6:30pm: Yup showering and brushing teeth usually is a long process and usually needs in tears. then we get onto dressing for bed, this is when the little one forgets how to get dressed and throws a tanty till I go dress him. All the while I am trying to keep the quiet as hubby is sleeping or trying to sleep.

6:45pm: I have told the boys to chose 2 books, 2 not 4, not 5, 2 books. After finally caving and letting them have 3 each we start reading, the fight at this point is which order the books will go, and that one of them doesn't want me to read a book the other has chosen. Most of the time we can get through the books and enjoy it.

7pm: I try to put them in their own beds and help them off to sleep, but 9/10 times they end up falling asleep in my bed with me twisted like  pretzel between them. That's after we have gone to the toilet 5 times, asked for a drink 4 times and begged for one more story.

8pm: I think they are finally asleep so I try to move them, the little one usually goes off quickly and I can put him in his own bed, the older one though is a little more difficult, I think he thinks he is going to miss out on something so doesn't want to sleep. His idea on getting to sleep is that he must have his legs, either in my back, between my legs or up my bum. He says he needs "hot" to go to sleep and apparently that's how you get hot!

8:30pm: He sleeps finally, so I move him and pray that he will stay in his bed longer than usual. I sneak into my own room and close the door and quietly turn on the TV for the first time to see that there is absolutely nothing worth watching, what happened to great tv at night? Don't they know us mothers need something awesome to watch, and no I won't pay ridiculous amounts of money for pay tv so I then decide a book will be better.

9pm: Decide that I should probably go to sleep, and here is the kicker, I miss the little monkeys and wish they were in my bed and I was a pretzel again, What is wrong wont me am I mad, they have driven me over the edge all day with the fighting, soaking, hitting, whinging etc and now I want them near me.

That right, there my lovely friends is the power of love for your children, they can annoy you to no end, make you feel like you are the worst mother in the world but at the end of the day you are only doing your best and you will love them no matter how many times they say, they hate you or that you are the worst mum in the world.


Now don't get me wrong I adore being a mum, I love all the wonderful things that goes with it, but the goods can be few and far between some days.  Everyday is not rosy and filled with laughter and giggles and perfectly behaved children. Some days can feel like you have been thrown into the deep end with devil children who are out to steal your kidneys and sell them on the black market.

So before you decide that you are not the best parent you can be, because Mary Lou portrays her life as a perfect well functioning, rainbow pooping unicorn  machine, remember we are all human and we are all trying our best, and the grass is probably not greener on the other side. Be kind to yourself, take time out for you, love your kids, but love yourself. xxx

PS I really do love my kids, and they are usually very well behaved but I want to show that because my Instagram pictures depict a happy smiling family its not always like this, My kids fight, I yell, I am not perfect. And I am probably being way to harsh on myself but I know that in reality I am not perfect, I am not like the "other" mums I see on FB with their perfect house, children ,lives this is me, this is our family and we are happy. I am not going to compare myself anymore. ;)

ETA and All the mums that do only portray the good,I applaud you too as you are just doing your best also. We all are just doing what we can to get by xxxx