I have a big mouth...and sometimes I don't know when to shut up!
I used to just say what I wanted and never thought about the consequences then it bit me on the proverbial behind and I grew up and learnt to keep my mouth shut!
Well I let it off the leash the other weekend and I have no idea why...maybe its stress...maybe I am so exhausted my brain doesn't work properly or maybe its because I am sick of being the one who is walked all over and forgotten and left out ?
Maybe I am over analyisng things as I know no one is hung up about this and it probably hasn't even registered on their radar .
But its hard to dismiss feelings especially ones that make your heart hurt and you feel so lonely that no one would miss you.
I want to feel wanted again...I want people to ring me and want to see me and not just visit the kids! I want to feel worthy of peoples attention and not be stopped mid conversation because the kids are doing something cute and then everyone forgets what I was talking about.
I just want someone to SEE me, really SEE me and not just see me as mum to the boys. I want to be me again!
So I am shutting my facebook down and trying to find who I am and not rely on anyone else to make me feel good about myself. I know it will be tough to try to love myself again and I know life will still be awkard thanks to my big mouth but I have tried to mend what I have done but it doesnt seem to have helped, so helping myslef seems like the next best thing!
Sorry I haven't blogged in a while and now when I decide to its to vent and sook!
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