Monkey Moo is 3 tomorrow!

Where oh were did the time go?
My little baby, my moo, my pickle head....your 3 tomorrow!

So 3 years ago I was I was in labour.....

On the phone to the hospital! (ignore the date on the pic lol)

Yup I am pretty sure I had had my waters broken and peth shot and all the intervention in the world by now....Geoff watched the footy final...Manly and cowboys if I remember...and helped me through my first birthing experience. Feeding me ice and trying to make me not feel the pain.


Then in the early hours of the morning on the 1st October...his due date...Myles William came into this world via Forceps :( I remember feeling like I was in a horror movie, and that they yanked him out and whisked him away. My whole natural birth went right out the window! Why didn't i get myself a doula the first time! But we can fill our heads with lots of whys and what ifs, but I made the choices and I have the most amazing little dude for them !


Our first family photo!



He was so perfect!


He just loved the Hug a bub and so did I!



We had the most amazing Breastfeeding journey too...I never knew how much I would love it. There were times especially in the early days when my toes would curl as he latched but after a few weeks it was second nature to me. Maybe I am one of the lucky ones. But it was the most enjoyable time :)

My Hollywood breastfeeding pose!

Myles is the funniest most inquisitive kid! He is always full of beans and always asking "why", or "whats her/his name"," Where do they live" etc!
He will run up to me and say "mummy I love sooo much" And give me the biggest cuddles, he tells me I am beautiful..well except yesterday when he said he didn't like my hair do lol!

His Naming day and his God parents Kate and Cory...and the "twins"

On his first birthday!



2nd birthday!


Meeting his baby brother Flynn!



My little grown up boy!

So Myles thank you for being the coolest, funniest, most amazing son! I cant wait to share the rest of your life help you grow into a beautiful caring man! xxx

Pretty girly frilly things...will we ever get to buy them?

I have been feeling really down...no that's no the word...um actually I have been feeling nothing today.
I woke to a message to say one of my friends had given birth to a baby girl! Yay how exciting! This is her 2nd child, she has a son.

This bought up all my gender disappointment issues again. I am so happy for my friend but very jealous and sad at the same time.
Why is that I have 2 boys...2 boys who I love with all my heart and soul..bt still 2 boys. Why couldn't I have one of each like everyone else I know in real life :(

I bought it up with hubby hoping to have someone to talk to, get my feeling s out so I wouldn't descend into a deep spiral of hate for myself and how I was after Floobuckle was born, that maybe we may never get the chance to have a little girl. And he made me feel worse :( I know he didn't mean to but he did. He said we should be lucky our boys are perfect and healthy, and that he was really worried about me when Floo was born cause I didn't treat him the same as I treated Moo. This broke my heart into a million pieces...why didn't he tell me this at the time and help me get over it. He has said he is scared to go again in case we have another boy...which he is certain it will be and how it will affect me.

I just needed someone to talk to about it and how my friend had the girl I most desperately want and I know she had told me she would prefer another boy so this makes me even more sad and jealous and angry :(

Why couldn't I have a pigeon pair, why doesn't my body want to create a little pretty girl who can share in all things girly with me? Why does it hurt so much when another friend has a baby girl...I am so happy with for them, but my heart aches.

I hate feeling like this, I hate remembering back to those days when Floo was a newborn and not having that spark in my heart like I did with Moo and how if it wasn't for some wonderful amazing ladies I would have hit rock bottom. I think I will be OK next time if it is a boy but I know we wont be finished till I have a girl.

Some of my favourite blogs!

So I am only really new to the whole blogging world...and still find it amazing that people actually read what I write...considering I think its not very well written :P

So some of my favourite blogs I like to visit are.........
http://onelittlemummy.blogspot.com/2010/09/cloth-nappy-reviews-and-glee-marathons.html

This is only a new blog but I know it is going to be fantastic! This beautiful woman is like my awesome long lost sister...born a day apart...love all things gentle parenting....love Twilight....and just get along so very well! So read it if you want , I know Iwill be!

http://onelongsummersingapore.blogspot.com/2010/09/trying-to-get-crafty.html

This blog is by another gorgeous mumma who is in Singapore at the moment! I was lucky enough ot share our first pregnancy and the births of our first sons! She rocks and I can only hope we actually meet one day!

http://glamourcidaltendencies.blogspot.com/2010/09/broken-back-whole-baby.html

Well what can I say about this honest and wonderful blog! This amazing chick is the coolest chick I have never met!She rocks my world and I wish I was like her...so witty , smart and cool! This is a really great read very honest!

http://www.drmomma.org/
My most favourite informative blog about all things Gentle and breastfeeding and intactivism(is that a word or did I make it up???) I get so much information from here and enjoy reading all the entries about feeding and natural parenting.

There are so many more that I adore but I will do them another time!

So if you need to read something give these blogs a go! I cant wait to read the next lot of entries! x

Do you have a thing...I dont think I do?

This is something I think of often.
I really don't have a thing...you know everyone has a thing right...My hubby is a Baker extraordinaire, my brother is the football player...my Friends have creative arty sides like making clothes, creating cakes and pastries...being stunning( I know that's not a thing thing but still its something!)
I just feel like I have no thing...like when someone would be talking about you they would say oh yea Amber's husband is an amazing baker...or Amber's friend can sew...or Amber's cousins are awesome artists....Amber is.......um nothing I got nothing???

I love to paint and would love to start to sew but it seems everyone can do those things and much better than me so I don't even want to try. I want to find something that is mine , something that I can be proud of achieving, something that others will think is wonderful. I often feel like the black sheep or the third wheel of my family..never really fitting in..having different opinions that no one really wants to hear :(

I remember my Nana's surprise party when I was little...maybe 10 or 11. We were having it at our house. I had spent all afternoon working on a big happy birthday sign... which i printed off the computer ( cause that was such a novelty back then) and colouring it in making it look special for my Nana! I hung it up outside with all the balloons and waited for the time to come....well in that time it bucketed down with rain...totally wrecked my masterpiece :( I was guttered. My beautiful cousin arrived and had made her own sign so we put it up inside ready for the party. Nana got a huge surprise...well so I thought...and everyone was commenting on the lovely Happy birthday banner! It really was gorgeous I still can see it now! and I remember my Nana saying
"oh yes my granddaughter H made that she is the artist of the family"

I was so upset and felt useless....that was the day I never really tried hard at anything arty again...my gorgeous cousin become a wonderful graphic designer and is so talented and arty! I cant help but wonder, maybe if it didn't rain that day I would be just as talented as her or any of my friends and family?

I really want to give sewing a go as I love doing it with my Nan, but still feel like maybe I should just stick to being boring! I want to paint again like in highschool, I want to be the photgrapher I wanted to be when I was 17 and do the course I have been dying to do. I want to be something , someone anyone who has a thing!

Life travels too fast....

My baby is growing up way too quickly.

He likes to drink out of a big persons glass....he can put on his own clothes, and choose them for that matter. He speaks like he is 18...including a few choice words he has picked up from us *blush*

I cannot believe he will be 3 in 3 weeks.........

I remember getting my positive pregnancy test and having to wake Geoff up to tell him of the news. We went skiing that day and not being able to tell anyone was hard!
So after I saw the local GP to confirm I was indeed up the duff I rang my Aunt Gail first as she was heading back from some of her first lots of radiation for Breast cancer and I wanted to cheer her up! they were all so excited he would be the first baby in our extended family!

So our first journey of pregnancy began...so much to take in and so much info to read! If it wasnt for so many wonderful poeple on BellyBelly I would have been so scared!

After 9 months of heartburn, swollen ankles and the best feeling of being kicked in the bladder the little dude arrived! No it was the most amazing time in my life...those first movements to poking his little feet and he would respond :)

His birth wasn't what I wanted and I don't tend to talk about it much as it still upsets me, but after that first look into his eyes my heart was his forever. He changed our lives and we couldn't imagine our loves without him...well when he never slept we did :P

So to my little monkey man thank you for being the coolest most energetic, fun, crazy kid I know! I only hope we can guide you and help you on your own path of life which will hopefully be filled with lots of love and laughter!


Love you pickle head xxxx

Im a hippie and proud...well a modern Hippie!

So I use cloth nappies, breastfeed, eat organic food, use a baby carrier and care about the environment...apparently this makes me a hippie.
And you know what I think its ace! I remember growing up and loving hearing stuff about the 60s and all the free love and Woodstock...simple times with not too much to worry about. So being referred to as one makes me happy!
We are about to build a house on our land at somerset dam. Once we move I can have free range kids and get dirty everyday with them having the time of our lives growing our own food and living a life at one with nature....but hey I still love modern stuff too like the movies, TWILIGHT, the net...shopping(must cut back as consumerism isn't good) and a pampering!
The best of both worlds I think! Earth mumma as I have been called before which is so cute will be out in force!!
But there are better earth mummas out there who I look up too and admire. So thank you for giving me lots of inspiration to be a better earth loving mumma!

Love the earth for she is the one which our lives depend on!

this is so true!

My gorgeous friend has some of the wisest words I have heard and her recent blog about judging others blew me away! Definitely some food for thought :)
Enjoy!
http://glamourcidaltendencies.blogspot.com/2010/09/judge-jury-and-executioner.html

Thanks for letting me share Glam!