People filter out the bad and only post the good, which we know isn't reality, but somehow it still makes us think we are doing something wrong or that we are bad parents. I wish people would be truthful on their Facebook page, share the bad with the good, don't make out that their kids are angels all the time.
I am hearing from friends that they are struggling with being a mum because we compare ourselves to these beautifully scripted Facebook lives. Its making me sad and angry that the people I love don't feel they are doing the best job they can because missy perfect has posted in 3 hours 5 posts of the craft they did or the sport their child has conquered or the cake they all baked as family without any fights or yelling or kids acting out.
Its not real life. So this is what my day usually looks like!
3am: woken with a kick to the head as my eldest son has crept into my bed, with a full wet nappy I might add. So I now have a sore head a room that smells like wee.
3:30am: Second child arrives in the bed turning me into a pretzel, trying to contort myself so that either boys don't fall out and that they can have enough room and blanket.
5am: Second son is up yelling "come wipe my bum" Yes he is 4 and he has always been able to clean himself but the last few weeks apparently he can not anymore so its now my job. Cue our puppy to start whimpering to be let out.
6am: eldest son continues to sleep on top of me or with his legs intertwined into mine which is really very uncomfortable. All the while I have sent Mr Wipe my bum to play in his room…which usually turns into him sneaking into the lounge to play the Wii or iPad :/ We have a rule that we don't watch TV on school mornings.
6:30am: Do I really have to get out of bed and start my day now, yes, I have to as the kids are fighting and screaming and the dog is barking at everyone who walks past. So I roll out of bed and start the day, usually on the bad foot cause I am exhausted and would just like half an hour to myself.
7am: Serving the kids breakfast, we always have yoghurt's first with their probiotic in it. My second son has always fed himself but like the wiping his own bum it seems to have lost this skill, so as I try to make the rest of the breakfast and my own and he is crying that he doesn't want to eat it or feed it to me. So I spend the next 10 minutes spoon feeding him.
7:15am ask the eldest child what he wants for breakfast, make it, he doesn't want it. So throw it out and ask him again what he wants. Says he doesn't know so I make myself something sit down finally and start eating….oh eldest son wants what I am having and wants it now, who would have thought, so I end up giving him my meal and just have my tea. Which goes cold :/
I am only at 8am and already I am exhausted just writing this.
8am:Ask the kids to get dressed. Now this process usually last a minim of half an hour, it usually starts out quiet then by the end I am a screaming banshee trying to have a shower myself and get ready.
School holidays are easier as we don't have to be in the car by 8:30am to get to school and kindy, but they still fight, they still pull toys out and leave them all over the floor, they still refuse to brush their teeth etc etc etc.
8:30am ask the kids to get their stuff, so back packs, water bottles, homework, library books etc and get in the car. you would think this task would be fairly easy as their bags hang on a hook, their lunch boxes are packed and put on the table and their homework is usually in the same place too. But no somehow 1 out of 3 mornings someone forgets something.
8:45am hopefully we are on the road now as my eldest starts at 8:50, but usually we are not. i am usually going back inside and finding said thing that has been left behind.
9am: eldest child is at school, and we are on our way to drop the little one at kindy. This is the hardest part of my day. He is not coping very well and dosent like to go so he cries and holds me so tight. It really is breaking my heart. I walk out crying. I stop at the drive through coffee place which is now my morning saviour and get a HOT cup of coffee to drink!
9:15am - 2:30pm is apparently party time for me :P No just kidding, I usually come home do washing, ironing, try to clean the house, do grocery shopping, and occasionally I will visit a friend. On the days that the little one isn't at kindy I usually have to try to get him outside instead of playing computer games, he is a little tech head. But most days I have to do errands for the business we own and he doesn't like that one bit so it can be driving in the car with him being cranky, or going to the bank with him being cranky, unless I bring the iPad which i hate doing as I don't think he should be on it all the time. Throw in lunchtimes which usually mean making him something he asks for then he eats 2 bites :/
2:30pm: we arrive at kindy to get the littlest, then we have to quickly drive to school to get the eldest, for some reason the little one doesn't like having to pick up the big one and sooks about it all the way to the school.
3pm: Yay schools out. We pile into the car and I try to ask about how school was but the only answers we get are who they played with at lunchtime :/ And then the eldest asks what are we doing now…this happens most mornings, or when we have just done something, he needs to know what other exciting things are coming and usually cries when I say we are going home.
3:30pm: I ask the eldest to please do his homework, I'm not a fan of homework and really don't mind him not doing it but I don't want him getting into trouble either, this is usually a fight he yells "why don't you let me do what I want" And then slams the door.
4pm: We start making dinner as my husband has to be in bed between 5pm-6pm. Deciding what to eat suavely revolves around the kids screaming and crying, "we don't want that", "why do you have to chose every night" "why can't we decide whats for dinner"
5pm: We all sit down for dinner, hubby scoffs his down as he has get to bed, and I sit pleading with the kids to eat their dinner, to try a little broccoli, or spoon feeding them mushed up veges like baby food. At this point I decide I am not doing the dishes they can wait till morning cause I am done, but we still have showers and bedtime yet, I have to find the spark deep in my gut to keep going.
5:30pm: Shower time, I usually turn the shower on to get the temp right then get the kids in, most days they are there ready to go but sometimes they take off and play or one has to do a poo or the eldest decides its the perfect time to do homework. So the shower goes off till they are ready and then we start all over again. I will brush their teeth when they get out and this is an epic battle too, especially with he little one.
6:30pm: Yup showering and brushing teeth usually is a long process and usually needs in tears. then we get onto dressing for bed, this is when the little one forgets how to get dressed and throws a tanty till I go dress him. All the while I am trying to keep the quiet as hubby is sleeping or trying to sleep.
6:45pm: I have told the boys to chose 2 books, 2 not 4, not 5, 2 books. After finally caving and letting them have 3 each we start reading, the fight at this point is which order the books will go, and that one of them doesn't want me to read a book the other has chosen. Most of the time we can get through the books and enjoy it.
7pm: I try to put them in their own beds and help them off to sleep, but 9/10 times they end up falling asleep in my bed with me twisted like pretzel between them. That's after we have gone to the toilet 5 times, asked for a drink 4 times and begged for one more story.
8pm: I think they are finally asleep so I try to move them, the little one usually goes off quickly and I can put him in his own bed, the older one though is a little more difficult, I think he thinks he is going to miss out on something so doesn't want to sleep. His idea on getting to sleep is that he must have his legs, either in my back, between my legs or up my bum. He says he needs "hot" to go to sleep and apparently that's how you get hot!
8:30pm: He sleeps finally, so I move him and pray that he will stay in his bed longer than usual. I sneak into my own room and close the door and quietly turn on the TV for the first time to see that there is absolutely nothing worth watching, what happened to great tv at night? Don't they know us mothers need something awesome to watch, and no I won't pay ridiculous amounts of money for pay tv so I then decide a book will be better.
9pm: Decide that I should probably go to sleep, and here is the kicker, I miss the little monkeys and wish they were in my bed and I was a pretzel again, What is wrong wont me am I mad, they have driven me over the edge all day with the fighting, soaking, hitting, whinging etc and now I want them near me.
That right, there my lovely friends is the power of love for your children, they can annoy you to no end, make you feel like you are the worst mother in the world but at the end of the day you are only doing your best and you will love them no matter how many times they say, they hate you or that you are the worst mum in the world.
Now don't get me wrong I adore being a mum, I love all the wonderful things that goes with it, but the goods can be few and far between some days. Everyday is not rosy and filled with laughter and giggles and perfectly behaved children. Some days can feel like you have been thrown into the deep end with devil children who are out to steal your kidneys and sell them on the black market.
So before you decide that you are not the best parent you can be, because Mary Lou portrays her life as a perfect well functioning, rainbow pooping unicorn machine, remember we are all human and we are all trying our best, and the grass is probably not greener on the other side. Be kind to yourself, take time out for you, love your kids, but love yourself. xxx
PS I really do love my kids, and they are usually very well behaved but I want to show that because my Instagram pictures depict a happy smiling family its not always like this, My kids fight, I yell, I am not perfect. And I am probably being way to harsh on myself but I know that in reality I am not perfect, I am not like the "other" mums I see on FB with their perfect house, children ,lives this is me, this is our family and we are happy. I am not going to compare myself anymore. ;)
ETA and All the mums that do only portray the good,I applaud you too as you are just doing your best also. We all are just doing what we can to get by xxxx
